Fists Held High
by RyleeBeth
Summary: "That was it. That was the moment she knew it was all over. Her friendships. Her life. Her everything. She closed her eyes, ready for death, only to hear someone call her name. Someone had decided that she wasn't done yet," -Upcoming Chapter.


_Hola! So, this is going to be a very different type of fanfiction than what I'm used to writing, so bear with me. It will most likely be a very long story and will probably have a sequel. There will be femmeslash and some slash (although probably not among the BTR boys), so if you can't handle that, I suggest that you don't read this. Alright, here's the prologue!_

Nothing about the way she's living is healthy- and she knows it. She knows that all the pain, both physical and emotional, is eventually going to grow to be too much, but she's betting on her father killing her before has her mental breakdown. She knows that she has way too many bruises on her body, and that she's pushing herself way too hard. She also knows that she has to step up her game if she wants to conceal her mess of a life from the boys, specifically Logan Mitchell, who seems to be hot on her trail.

She's afraid that she can't keep everything a secret much longer. Logan's been suspicious from the beginning and now he's gotten Kendall acting all overprotective and worried. She thinks it's a testament to how screwed up her life is that she's _trying_ to keep anyone from finding out. She wishes she could go back to the days when being bisexual was her biggest secret.

Those were the days before _the agency_ hadn't taken her in and placed her with her biological family, the Knights. It's almost funny how she didn't know that Kendall and Katie were her siblings; she's the perfect "in between" of their appearances. Her hair is straight and light brown, with traces of sandy blonde in it and her eyes are hazel. She fits in with them physically, but she doesn't feel as if she can all any of them family yet. After all, her name doesn't work with theirs because her name doesn't start with a "k." Why couldn't her adoptive family have picked a name like Katrina or Karen? Her name was Lily, Lily Esther Knight. It just doesn't go with Katie and Kendall. Lily felt like a burden to them, especially since she had been the one Knight sibling given up for adoption. Try all she might, she just couldn't ever seem to connect with her siblings like they connected with each other. They had already been growing up together, and Lily had only joined them as a 14 year old.

Naturally, some situations were extremely awkward. Lily could tell that everyone was trying so hard for her, trying so hard to be family to her. The only ones she had a semi-normal relationship with were James and Carlos, because those two were easy going and not very observant. It was easy to engage in a lighthearted conversation with James and Carlos took a liking to anyone who would play a game with him. She wished Katie was as easy to crack as those two. The twelve year old was tough to crack. Things seemed to be coming along with Kendall into Logan came into the picture.

Things used to be normal with Logan, but then his intelligence turned out to be a problem. Not much got by that boy, and he soon caught onto the fact that Lily was hiding a lot from the people she was supposed to love. His curiosity grew into heavy observation, and the minute she slipped up, he knew something was wrong. Now Logan, Kendall, and her mom watch her so closely that if she makes one wrong move, it'll all be done. Game over.

Morgan Nguyen and Kelly Wainwright are the only reasons she hasn't completely lost it yet. Morgan is the only person in the _office_ that truly is her friend. She's funny, nice, and helps to take her mind off everything else. Kelly is the assistant to Gustavo Rocque, but what she doesn't tell the boys of Big Time Rush is that she also is the social work of the Palm Woods branch of the agency. She genuinely cares about everyone in the office and keeps everyone from losing their minds. Lily wishes she was the director of the Palm Woods branch instead of that Griffin idiot.

Then there's Taryn King, Lily's girlfriend of sorts. Lily doesn't even know how she feels about Taryn. The two of them make out a lot, and have even sex a few times, but she doesn't know if she truly likes the tan girl that way, or if she's just a release. It probably doesn't matter, because her relationship with Taryn is falling apart because of feelings for someone else that Lily refuses to acknowledge. Lily does not care what Kelly says, she is most definitely not in love with a certain member of Big Time Rush.

Lily doesn't really know why she's going on with everything. She has know idea where all this strength is coming from. Maybe it's coming from Morgan, Kelly, or even those inspirational Big Time Rush songs that she hears way too many times. However, she does know that she can't hold on most longer, which as stated earlier, she does not seem to count as a problem because she's betting on being killed. Kendall and Logan are trying to save them, but she can't let them. She can't let anyone else get hurt.


End file.
